Shape and Substance

meditations on faith and church

We Pass Through Waters on the Way

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. (Isa.43:2)

We pass through waters on the way
from mother’s womb to Father’s font,
and learn to swim the channels of our birth
as children part human, part divine,
who not at home in either region, wander,
rise through realms of wonder and delight,
knowing nothing more than pain and pleasure,
and wordless revel in the grace of play.

We pass through waters on the way,
in blue green pools in summer’s withering heat
and learn to plunge the fearsome deeper end,
lie supine and weightless at the bottom,
a little death, and breathless, cool and deep,
rest ‘til burning urgency compels
a resurrection, rise through parting water,
reclaim the shimmering surface of the day.

We pass through waters on the way
past shaded woodland creek or breaking wave
and learn to marvel and perhaps to envy
life’s greening, shining other world
with charms that lie beyond our puny reach;
when we by sleight of hand dare raise them,
they sing to us a song we cannot hear,
speak to us with words we cannot say.

We pass through waters on the way
through storm and swollen rivers’ murky flood
and learn to mourn and then to start again,
to stagger under loss’s grievous burden
bewildered, benighted, and alone
and still to rise and even cherish
what the howling wind and waters give us
no less than what they pitiless wrench away.

We pass through waters on the way
to time’s eternal river at the end,
and learn to gauge the ceaseless tugging current
drawing us insistently downstream
toward a place we do not, cannot know,
down from rising land whence rivers run,
to the cold embrace of river gods,
who nameless lift us, carry us away.

But at the final moment, for a heartbeat,
shall we not stand on Jordan’s nearer shore
and learn this last, this most enduring lesson?
The water is not barrier but bearer
through this life of wonder, an angels’ dream.
Pain and pleasure, love’s loss, heaven’s heartache,
what are they but rising tide to buoy us,
‘til we, at last rejoicing, drift away?

Passing Through Waters

Isa 43:1-7; Luke 3:21-22                                                           Baptism of the Lord, Year C

I

I don’t think I saw it so much as heard it. Standing at the head of long sweeping bend in the Conejos River, I heard a splash off to my left and fifteen yards downstream below a big rock.

When a big trout rises to take a fly from the water’s surface, it rockets up from its holding place in the deep water like a missile aimed at a target. As the trout reaches the surface, it opens its mouth and gulps in water and air and fly in a single swallow. At the same instant, the trout arches its spine and with a massive thrust reverses course and heads for the safety of the deeps again, expelling as it goes water and air—but not, if you are lucky, the fly. All this happens in an instant, a millisecond, quicker than a heartbeat, and even if you’re looking straight at it, you’re not precisely sure what you’ve seen. A flash of golden sunlight, a splash on the surface of the fast-moving current, and then it’s gone.

By the time I could process what I’d seen—or heard—the trout had, of course, vanished. Ah, but this was not my first fish. I’ve stood long enough in waters to know that big fish like to hold in the pocket water behind large midstream rocks. The rock creates a hole in the current where the water curls back on itself, and a trout can hold its position in the stream without exerting much effort. I knew that if I could land my fly—an Adam’s parachute, I think—just above the rock, and leave enough slack in the line, the current would carry it downstream and right into the pocket water where the trout was waiting. The fish would see dinner, served up with all the propriety of a white-gloved butler uncovering a chafing dish at the Earl of Grantham’s table.

And for once in my miserable, clumsy fishing life, I did with my fly rod what I saw in my mind’s eye: a single perfect slack line cast, delicate insect-like landing, a drag-free drift past the rock and into the trout’s field of vision. Even so, I was unprepared for the explosion of the trout’s attack. Erupting from beneath the surface, all spray and lightning, the golden flash of a big brown trout burst and vanished, and a half-instant later my fly line tightened like piano wire and started to move in ways I no longer controlled. I recovered, set the hook—not too hard, don’t want to break him off, I thought—and the fight was on.

I say “fight” as though we struggled, but it was really more like a strange inter-species dance. The trout took in the slack and went racing away, and I gave line and let him run; then he doubled back and darted sideways across the current, and I reeled in as fast as I could. Back and forth, in and out, giving line and taking it, we pirouetted and played, his fury against my fly reel, until at last I could feel him tiring, succumbing to my insistent tug. Finally I brought him near and reached beneath him with my landing net—even then he lurched away twice more, not ready yet to abandon the protest. But, at long last I raised the net, dripping, and beheld therein a magnificent fourteen-inch brown trout. His russet-gold sides were speckled with bright red spots that looked for all the world like droplets of blood, and his mouth opened and closed rhythmically, unable to breathe in this strange new world, as if singing a song I had not the ears to hear. I reached into the net to disengage the fly, and was suddenly aware of his power—a handful of sheer muscle tensing and loosing, pulsing with a sinewy electricity. He was regal, beautiful, and strong—an underwater god—and for the moment I had him in my hand, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pure delight. Not at my own mastery with a fly rod, but at the sheer wonder of this alien beauty, as though a hidden doorway had cracked opened, and I could peer into the workshop of God.

No sooner had I removed the hook than he shuddered violently, leapt free, and was gone.

Howell Raines, editorial page editor for The New York Times in the 1990s, and a dedicated fly fisherman, once wrote these words about the experience of catching a trout:

We have reached into a realm over which we have no explainable mastery and by supernatural craft or mere trickery created a moment that is as phenomenal on the hundredth performance as on the first…To get [fish] to bite something connected to a line and pull them into our world is managing a birth that brings these creatures from the realm of mystery into the world of reality. It’s a kind of creation. (Fly Fishing Through the Midlife Crisis, New York: Morrow and Co., 1993, p, 104)

The prophet says:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. (Isa 43:2).

There is a boundary that marks the line between mundane and mystery, between our reality and the universe of delight. For me that boundary is easiest to see on the surface of waters, because looking at water reminds me that what courses beneath is beyond me, does not answer to my needs or service my desires, is of a wholly separate order of being from me. Beneath the waters is the realm of wonder, and to stand before them or to cast a line upon them is to pray for admission to that realm, to approach creation’s holy of holies with supplication and reverence and care. And in those rare moments when the barrier is parted, the boundary crossed, I experience the sheer delight of knowing that I reach over into a reality not mine to maintain, that there flows around and beneath and beyond me a river that has flowed since the birth of creation whose ebb and flood is none of my affair. I treasure that delight, though I know that, in an instant, it will flex its muscles, spring free of my grasp, and be gone.

II

Luke says:

…when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus had also been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove….(Lk 3:21-22).

I am struck with Luke’s language about Jesus’ baptism. The verbs are all in passive voice, and we see Jesus not immersed, but having already risen, dripping, and praying at the water’s edge. It is as though Luke elects to stand at a respectful distance from the action, as though he knows that Jesus’ baptism breaches the sacred barrier between divine and human, that extraordinary things are afoot here, things not under our control. But perhaps, too, Luke restrains his theological imagination from getting too close because he knows that Jesus’ baptism is only the beginning of this boundary-breaking. And he is right, of course; the best is yet to come:
…a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved, with you I am well pleased.”

Inured as we are to this story, it might be well to reflect for a moment on its strangeness. Even in Luke’s world voices do not ring out from heaven. Even in Luke’s world the Holy Spirit makes rare appearances, whether in avian form or any other. And maybe strangest of all, even in Luke’s world—to say nothing of our own—the proclamation of divine favor seems rarely to ring in anyone’s ears, drowned as it regularly is by the reactionary rhetoric of fear. Luke’s story of Jesus baptism is a tale from beyond our experience. To read it is to reach into a realm over which we have no explainable mastery, and to witness an experience as phenomenal on one the hundredth reading as on the first. Did the air tremble with the words of God? Did the ground shift beneath the feet of those gathered at the river? Did the waters part, so that he might cross to the other side? Who knows? Luke seems determined to press us past these questions, until we arrive at the boundary between the ordinary and earthshattering: until we hear the benediction from beneath the vaults of time. Despite all evidence to the contrary, the real message is the blessing pronounced upon Jesus, and through him, on the likes of us—“with you I am well pleased.” What a rare and holy moment; what a gorgeous glimpse of the shape of God’s delight!

III

The prophet says:

Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring for the east, and from the west I will gather you;
I will say to the north, “Give them up,”
and to the south, “Do not withhold;
bring my sons from far away, and my daughters from the end of the earth,
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made (Isa 43:5-7).

There’s an insistent tugging in these words, as though somehow the prophet’s God has got his hook in us and is drawing us toward the realm of God’s delight—however much we may race away downstream and make for the hidey holes deep in our psyches. It is an awesome thing, this ephemeral tether, a thing over which we have no mastery, a thing that draws us insistently toward regions of wonder and awe—and of no small terror at the unknown power that is reeling us in. We would rather watch from a safe and respectful distance, would if we could duck back down to safety of our familiar fears. But the prophet is unrelenting. We are gathered from north and south, east and west, and called by God’s own name. We are drawn toward the boundary of the new creation, beyond which lies a future we cannot even imagine.

And this is where, for me at least, the story of Jesus’ baptism matters most. I suspect that on our own, we could not—even would not—approach this border between the shelters of our safe assumptions and the glistening realm of grace. There is, between here and there, a surfeit of struggle and change, and once there, we may find ourselves in a world in which we do not know how to breathe. No wonder we dart away. But, if I am right about Luke’s intent, we have the assurance that we are not the first to be drawn into the realm of God’s delight. Jesus passes through the waters ahead of us and marks the way. He crosses to the other side and pauses at the water’s edge as if to say, “Do not fear, for I am with you. Breathe in the Spirit, and follow.”

IV

In the sanctuary at University Presbyterian Church here in Austin, as in many other places, the great baptismal font sits on the floor at the intersection of the aisles of nave and transept. I sing in the choir, and most Sundays, as we process toward the chancel and make our way around the font, I reach in, dip my fingers into the water, and make the sign of the cross on my forehead. I’m not alone in this practice. In the parlance of liturgy, we remember our baptism, remember that we are among those created for God’s glory, and are called by God’s name. But I think it is true that to dip beneath the surface of the baptismal water is to break some sort of barrier, a border between the canyons of heartache and the mountain of God’s delight. It is to be born into a strange new creation whose contours are as yet unclear. Still, each week I dip, and try to breathe.

But here is the marvel: it is not we who break the barrier, or cross the boundary of our own accord. Rather we are tethered to a blessing that summons us as insistently as a taut fly line summons a trout to the net. We could not pass through the waters were it not that Another has already passed through before us, and having reached the other side, assures us that we need not be afraid, simply because we are called by his name.

We pass through waters into realms of wonder and delight.

1 January 2016

It is early yet.
Orion has not dropped his bow,
though wearied of the eternal hunt,
though by dawn the great bear will elude him
yet again.

It is early yet,
daylight a distant gamble,
dream that was and might yet be,
pendulum slung between the antipodes
of darkness.

It is early yet.
I neither sleep nor rouse
from sleep’s cloying, comfortable embrace.
I swim the channel through the night, uncertain
of a landing.

It is early yet.
Cold-sharp breath excises
necrotic yesterday, tomorrow bleeds
its way to birth, stillborn or still unborn—
who knows?

It is early yet
to divine the way,
to limn the shape of pleasure, pain,
to chart the course of fear or faith, and still
I hope.

I Am the Bullet

December 2015

I am the bullet, born this eternal instant,
in the firing chamber, yearning for a target.

A battlefield, perhaps, where opposing truths
meet in lethal contest to prove that both are lies

or a theater where a hundred viewers
file in for a fantasy they will live but never see

or an urban street where young men
wager their prowess and forfeit their futures

or a sanctuary where scattered souls
lie limbs akimbo, bleeding into Bibles

or an office party, co-workers pausing from their labor,
a caring to which they will not return?

I do not care. Such matters are too wonderful for me;
I do not contemplate the ironies of hate.

I am born of explosion, the spark of firing pin to primer
ignited propellant, corkscrew rifling, spinning free, subject only

to equations of velocity, deceleration, and range,
fifty-five grains, at thirty-two hundred feet per second.

E=mc2 makes
a memorable impression on flesh or bone.

I am the bullet.
Are you the target?

Refugee

Laetoli, Tanzania, 3.7 million years ago
Genesis 19
The Syrian-Lebanese border, summer 2015

Fleeing for her life: the mountain
vomits fire and smoke,
cloud of ash become an angry rain
burning mud beneath her feet.
They say she turned, perhaps to take
a longing homeward look, catch
a choking, wheezing breath, seek
the child devoured and gone in acrid fog,
then walked on, uncomprehending.
Captured in the mire,
her steps beat out grief’s millions-year-old rhythm,
eternal footprints graved in primal rock
beneath the falling skies of Olduvai.

Fleeing for her life: rapine fingers
clawing at the dark, lusting for
her daughters’ clothes and flesh; do not look back,
do not cling to what is torn away.
They say she turned, perhaps to glimpse
the strong door that once held at bay
an angry world now fiery, falling
in smoke and sulfurous stone.
Captured by the sight,
she froze, a salted stele,
eternal monument to the heartache
of leaving house and home in Sodom.

Fleeing for her life: the only haven
safe from falling bomb and cloud of gas
a border in the desert sand
two staggering thirsty weeks away.
They say she turned, though pulled at last
by stronger hands, reached back for hearth
and house where she had learned to cook and clean
and make the things that make a home.
Captured by the lens,
she is frozen on the berm, memorialized,
eternal refugee without the heart
to cross the border into Lebanon.

Hard Rain

A hard rain on dry ground,
grief in torrents, whelms and washes
away all hopes and heart’s desires,
artifacts of another life,
closetful of useless treasures.

That may not be the worst.
Seemingly insidious, it
sinks and saturates deep places,
buried strata, bone and spirit,
eroding granite character.

Yet here is the wonder:
time distills, darkness purifies.
In some unthought-of aquifer,
rivering beneath barren rock,
it runs its course and waits its day

‘til someone drills a well,
and suddenly it surges up
to irrigate a garden, slake
a thirst, wash away the tearstains,
or, poured into the empty font,

baptize the newly born.

When It Isn’t There

October 2015

It’s what the bees are busy with, hive-deep,
where no light reaches and the constant drone
of action serves to make the sweetness
those whose labor makes it never taste.

It’s what the land that flows with milk and—
flows with, even if more desire than dish,
a morsel in the mouths of weary wanderers
who yet taste it only in their dreams.

It’s the name I call you when not thinking
of your name but who you are or what you mean
or more likely what reward I’m yearning
to taste when we are done with conversation.

It’s what remains on my lips after our kiss
in the dark, the light at last extinguished
and the dog now settled, sighing, in the corner
and I wait to taste the respite of shared sleep.

Is it not a wonder, how life’s sweetness
is sweetest not handled, owned, or held
but hoped for or perhaps remembered,
not on the tongue, but when it isn’t there?

[PKH note: This poem had is birth in a dare. A friend challenged me write a poem about on a subject of her choosing. I wonder if you can guess what the subject was. This is the mess we get in when you dare me to do something.]

The Wells of Gerar

20 September 2015
Genesis 26:6-22

As patriarchs go, Isaac is not really all that impressive. If you read through the narratives that are attached to his name—Genesis 18:1 through 28:9—more than half of them are really stories that feature either Isaac’s father Abraham, Isaac’s cousin Lot, or Isaac’s sons Jacob and Esau. Isaac gets second—or third—billing in most of these stories, and even then he’s more like a piece of furniture on the set than a central character in the scene. About the only place in what Old Testament scholars used to call the “Isaac cycle” where Isaac really is the central character is this chapter, Genesis 26.

And even here, in this story of Isaac in Gerar, we’re not seeing him in anything like a favorable light, at least not at first. Six chapters before, in Genesis 20, Abraham dragged his wife and concubines, his sons and his flocks down to Gerar, and there the native Philistines began to look lustfully at Sarah and murderously at Abraham. So Abraham concocted this questionable scheme to pass Sarah off as his sister, which might have worked out except a) he hadn’t counted on Abimelech the king deciding to take Sarah into his harem and have his way with her, and b) nobody seems to have asked Sarah what she thought about the idea. Fortunately, God intervened, and the whole thing worked out like the plot of a half-hour sitcom, and Abraham moved on to greener pastures. But here we are, six chapters later, Abraham now dead and Isaac at the head of the clan, and where does he land but Gerar, and what does he do when he gets there but try to pass off Rebekah as his sibling? Ah, but even if Isaac hasn’t learned anything over the last six, old Abimelech has. Ho, ho, he must have said, I’ve seen this ploy before. Hands off the woman, and shame on the man!

All of which brings us to this morning’s Old Testament text. Isaac and Rebekah and their entourage have left Abimelech’s court with Abimelech’s reproof still ringing in their ears, and moved out into the valley, where he comes upon wells dug by his father Abraham. Filled in and covered over, long forgotten, they are now re-excavated by Isaac and restored to their former purpose of watering the patriarchal flock. But things don’t go well—if you’ll pardon the pun. Before the first skin of water can make it to the well-rim, the Philistine inhabitants of Gerar come running to object: That’s not your water; it’s ours, and we’ll not share. A quarrel ensues, with Isaac defending his ancestral rights and the Philistines arguing that possession is nine-tenths of the law. In the end, whether because of their superior logic or superior force, the Philistines win and Isaac moves on. And that’s the story.

Or is it? Like most great stories, the texture and nuance of the details are the vehicles for meaning. And here, perhaps the most meaningful details are the personal and place names that dot the telling of the tale. Names in Hebrew have their own little grammar, so that each name is a kind of statement. Take, for instance, the name of the Philistine king of Gerar, Abimelech. The name means, “my father is king,” and in all probability, the “father” in question is Abimelech’s god, Baal. Abimelech is a religious man—albeit not religiously devoted to the God of Abraham and Isaac—and here, at least, he behaves like it. He has ethics and morals, something that Isaac seems to lack. Or Isaac himself: his name means “he laughed.” His mother Sarah, says the text of Genesis 18, burst out in derisive laughter at the news that she would bear a child, and so, in the irony that so dominates the biblical text, the child is the butt of the joke. Throughout his life, Isaac is ignored or played for a fool. Every time he introduces himself, his name announces that someone is laughing, and all too often it seems the someone is God.

Even here, it seems as though Isaac is still getting pushed around. He reclaims the wells of Gerar that his father dug, and restores their Abrahamic names. But it isn’t long before the Philistines are shoving Isaac and his entourage aside, asserting their own claims, staking out their own interests in the water Isaac has brought to the surface. Not enterprising enough to redig the wells, they are only too happy to retake them once they’re dug. So Isaac does what Isaac always does—he backs down, backs away, backs off. He won’t compete for what is rightly his, earned by the sweat of his brow. He surrenders. But before he goes he does one last thing: he gives the wells of Gerar new names.

The first well Isaac renamed Esek, which means something like “quarrel” or “argument”—I say “something like” because this is the only occasion in the Hebrew Scriptures where the word occurs, so we’re not altogether sure of its exact meaning. Isaac’s use of it here seems to suggest that there was something unique about this quarrel, something unprecedented about this fight. Perhaps the unique and unprecedented thing was that Isaac was abandoning without a fight something that he—and perhaps you and I—assumed was his by birthright.

The second well he names “Sitnah,” which is easier to decipher. It comes from the word satan, which means “to accuse.” You may hear in the verb the overtones of the noun “Satan” which means not “devil” as we often think, but “accuser.” The well-name here means “accusation.” It seems to stand as a symbol that someone has accused someone else—but who? Is it Isaac who accuses the Philistines of stealing what is rightfully his, or the Philistine who accuse Isaac and his band of being foreign interlopers, johnnies-come-lately arrived from afar to usurp land and water and livelihood? Maybe in the “quarrel” between the two communities there are enough “accusations” thrown around to cover everyone who proposes to drink from the contended wells.

You wouldn’t know this about me, but whenever I read the narratives of the Bible, my mind goes wandering for metaphorical connections between the world of the biblical story, and the world of our story. In this case, I don’t have to wander far; the connection is right in front of me, a nearly-constant part of the ever-churning news cycle. Ferguson, MO. Macallan, TX. Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston. Greek coast guard sailors disabling rafts overloaded with Syrian refugees, so that they drift helplessly in the Aegean Sea. Hungarian army squad hosing Syrian migrants with water cannon at the Serbian-Hungarian border. Assaults against police officers on the streets and in squad cars. Assaults by police on an innocent ex-professional tennis player in a hotel lobby. Everywhere you look in our world, the faultlines that divide race from race, haves from have-nots, hopeful from hopeless are cracking, and the old orders seem to fracture beneath the weight of change. It is no longer enough to assert the ancestral right of ownership and privilege; at every point those rights are being contended.

The near-automatic response of the privileged in our society is to withdraw into self-protection and self-defense—build bigger fences, buy bigger guns, recruit bigger armies. You hear the political rhetoric pouring from media outlets; you know what I mean. And, if the truth is told, I understand that rhetoric, and the self-protectiveness that gives rise to it. I don’t like the idea that things to which I have assumed I’m entitled might be taken away from me, or that I might have to share them, or that someone else might reap the benefit of my labor or my birthright. If pushed into a corner, I’m likely to sound just as defensive as the next guy. But I can’t help wondering: is that really the only option?

It wasn’t the only option for Isaac. The text tells us that, instead of arming his entourage and standing his ground in defense of his wells, Isaac
“moved on from there and dug another well. And they did not quarrel over it, so he called it Rehoboth, saying, ‘now the Lord has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.’” (Gen 26:22)

“Rehoboth” is another of those special place-names, a name that speaks volumes to those who can hear. Rehoboth means “space” or “room”—literally, a “broad place.” the verb from which the name comes means “to open wide” or “broaden.” The name of the prostitute who guides the Israelite spies safely out of Jericho and enables Joshua and the army to capture the city—Rahab—comes from this same root. Rahab opened wide the land to Joshua and Israel, made room in first her house and then her country for the foreigner and the stranger. As a result, Rahab is honored wherever the story of Israel is told. No less interesting to me, the name “Rehoboth” seems to echo down through the history of the church. I can’t think of a single congregation named “Esek Baptist” or “Sitnah Presbyterian.” But I know a Rehoboth church in every place I’ve ever lived.

Isaac, it seems, knew something the rest of us find too easy to forget. Isaac knew that there are times—maybe even most of the time—when quarrel and accusation lead finally to nowhere, and the best part of wisdom is to move on. Isaac knew that sometimes old wells only draw up old water, and in those times its best to dig new wells where the water is fresh and clear and unclouded by the animosities of the past. Isaac knew that sometimes a new well can be a place where past and present, Philistine and patriarch, black and white, refugee and refuge-holder can meet and drink and be fruitful in the land. And that, it seems to me, is something worth knowing.

The other day, Pat and I were cooking dinner while the national news was playing on TV—ok, ok, Pat was preparing dinner and I was constructively standing around doing nothing—when a report aired about Trinity Episcopal Church in Princeton, NJ. It seems that shortly after the Charleston shootings at Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston, the congregation had posted on its church marquee the slogan, “Black Lives Matter.” There was, to say the least, a lot of reaction. Some in the community were delighted at the support of the surging hashtag movement. Some were irritated that the congregation was inserting itself into a social debate. Some argued that the marquee ought instead to read, “all lives matter,” because, after all, doesn’t God love everyone? Rather than remove or change the slogan, however, the congregation’s leadership decided to invite the community into its fellowship hall for a common meal and meaningful conversation. It wasn’t an easy evening, but they got through it—and such important things were said that they decided to have another… and another… and according to their website, A Conversation On Race will continue at Trinity all the way through Thanksgiving. I don’t know about you, but I think Trinity Church has found a broad place and dug a new well where people can meet and drink new water. I think they’ve found Rehoboth. And I think that, across this land of ours, in every town and maybe in every congregation that cares about land and town and people in them, it’s time to start the same kind of broadening, deepening, refreshing conversations that will be Rehoboths, too. I think its time to see if the Lord can make us fruitful there.

Here’s a poem I wrote not long ago with this text in mind. At least at first, the figure speaking is Isaac. Somehow, though, as the poem goes along, there seem to be other voices in the conversation, and at least one of them is mine. See what you think. You can follow along in the bulletin insert, if you like:

The Wells of Gerar
Genesis 26:6-22
September 2015

They were my father’s wells, and though their names
are lost, I knew them once when I was young.
Come my turn to wander there, I found them
stopped and dry, as though never dug.

I dug other wells, not deep, but all my own.
What is a well? Is it just a hole
where water rises, and stretched skins descend?
Is it not a meeting of those above the soil

and those below, some who will thirst again
and some whose thirst has left on us a scar,
who seek from us naught but our remembrance?
Father! I remembered at Gerar!

But others there had memories of their own
some joyful, some oppressed with iron hand,
the bullet and the lash, the weeping eye,
the blood that moistens, baptizes the land.

These lives must matter, though they are not mine,
These thirsts be quenched, even if my throat is dry,
These truths be honored, even if contended;
These are family, at the edge of enmity.

But just beyond the range of human eye
if not beyond the yearning of the heart
is there not a broader place with room
for gathering all lives and thirsts and arts?

Shall we go and dwell there, our Rehoboth,
stand alongside those we lately fought,
and dig new wells and draw up hope and water
to wash away the blood and ease the drought?

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time to move on from the contended, self-protective wells where we draw only the waters of bitterness. I think it’s time to move on to a new place, to dig new wells, to draw up hope and water that washes us clean and makes us new. I think it’s time to strike out for Rehoboth. Are you coming?

The Center of the Universe

September 2015

This morning before I left for work,
you asked the thing you ask me every day:
do you have your wallet, phone, keys,
and my assent was your permission
to melt into our embrace
your arms around my neck and mine
encircling your slender frame
just the way we always do.

And I felt the universe within my grasp,
galaxies careening toward the edge of space
stars becoming novae in the nothingness
comets tracing with their oblong orbits
pathways through a dark eternity,
planets birthing life within their cores
seas heaving up from ancient deeps
sunlight peeking from behind fleeing clouds
as the morning’s rain steams from street to sky
and the dog settles on the couch again
for yet another morning nap.

And in the silence between waves of light
breaking on the shadowed shores
of this day, this morning, this moment,
you kissed my lips, warm, and said
have a good day sweetheart,
I love you, drive safely,
and what time will you be home,
just the way you always do.

The Wells of Gerar

Genesis 26:6-22
September 2015

They were my father’s wells, and though their names
are lost, I knew them once when I was young.
Come my turn to wander there, I found them
stopped and dry, as though never dug.

I dug other wells, not deep, but all my own.
What is a well? Is it just a hole
where water rises, and stretched skins descend?
Is it not a meeting of those above the soil

and those below, some who will thirst again
and some whose thirst has left on us a scar,
who seek from us naught but our remembrance?
Father! I remembered at Gerar!

But others there had memories of their own
some joyful, some oppressed with iron hand,
the bullet and the lash, the weeping eye,
the blood that moistens, baptizes the land.

These lives must matter, though they are not mine,
These thirsts be quenched, even if my throat is dry,
These truths be honored, even if contended;
These are family, at the edge of enmity.

But just beyond the range of human eye
if not beyond the yearning of the heart
is there not a broader place with room
for gathering all lives and thirsts and arts?

Shall we go and dwell there, our Rehoboth,
stand alongside those we lately fought,
and dig new wells and draw up hope and water
to wash away the blood and ease the drought?