Mr. H’s Ordination
by Paul Hooker
Do you trust in Jesus Christ your Savior,
acknowledge him Lord of all and Head of the Church,
and through him believe in one God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit?
–the first question for ordination in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
Well, do you?
It’s not a choosing, or a being chosen,
not a choice but the end of choices.
It’s the wild mounting desperation
of holding back your breath under water
until the will submits, is overcome
by the mindless lungs’ irrational demand.
Even if it drowns you like a rat.
Do you trust like that, Mr. H?
Who cares a fig for Lords and Heads?
This is existential, not ecclesial.
We’re talking oxygen, on those days
when a body’s desperate to breathe,
days when everything comes crashing,
when the sacred All-in-All amounts to nothing
and Christ’s Body yields its neck to the guillotine.
Do you trust when times are lean, Mr. H?
Three in one and one in three: an axiom
of theology. But the only Trinity
we know is world and death and fire
as often smothered as smoldering.
In the pitch-black cave-dark, we intuit light.
Put your hand on the triune rock:
creation’s basement, our prison, and reprieve.
Is that what you believe, Mr. H?
These skittish truths we harness to our stars
come uneasily to words; they bolt
like rabbits down a hole or fly
like birds to branches just beyond our reach.
Best teach the tongue restraint and watch your feet
along this darkling path we’re following.
It’s easier to stumble than to rise.
Will that suffice to make you wise, Mr. H?
Shape and Substance 
“Three in one and one in three: an axiom
of theology.” Love it.
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Glad you enjoyed it.
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Mr. H: a magnificent poem about the stunning calling –and shame, too–that we take on when we realize our life is not our own.
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Well, Mr. H, you’ve done it again! What an expressive truth you lay out as answer to an oft asked question – actually only partially an answer because in so many ways the answer if filled with question.
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aww geez, you nailed it, Paul. I remember so well the early days when i chose “the end of choices,” and you stood with me, knowing that in my final assessment i was drawing fire from a committee that was loaded for bear. “when the debate starts,” you said, “sit back and let me handle it.” and so i did, and you did, and the salvos flew and the vote was yes and that night i went into labor a month early and delivered my son, John, who was summoned forth by the argument over universalism and access to God. 25 years later, John gets it, and my gut still heaves. thank you for putting those feelings into words.
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Dana, I remember that final assessment well, but I had forgotten that was the night John was born. Two good outcomes in one day.
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